Keeping busy

Posted on 08. Nov, 2010 by geek in The Geek

I have, as Pinky very often states to me, been a bad blogger. This stems from a number of reasons, foremost being that I am inherently private: talking about what I feel, think and believe is not as easy as for most. English not being my first language doesn’t help when trying to emote my heart and mind either.

But my recent quiet has another cause; a typical one, things have been, and still is, very busy. As you are aware, we have just moved and I promised Pinky I would make the ‘great trek’ as smooth as possible for her. Never having moved so much stuff before, I underestimated the quantity of work that entailed, but I think I succeeded.

Also, never having had a house of our own, the sheer quantity of work in getting (and keeping) it maintained has caught me unawares.

All that complaining out of the way though, this fortnight of living in our new family home has been awesome. There’s space for the children to just be children, Pinky to have her own office and still more space for me to escape to when the need invariably arises.

We have a large lawn, which does need me to mow it (groan, an absolute hated task for me) but over the weekend it afforded me the luxury of camping out with C. Of course the girls would have none of it and us boys wouldn’t have it any other way.

Laying in the tent that night, watching him happily dream and snore, I did resolve to spend as much time with him as I can, before next year. Soon there will be another boy taking up much of my time and I’m so scared that he will be the big loser in all of this. R is old enough to understand all of this and, being a girl, will have a strong role she can fulfill in the baby’s early years. Also, she will be the only girl, making it easy to not let her feel too neglected.

There will however be two boys, and one biologically not really my boy, although for all intents and purposes I view him as completely mine. The big fear I have is that he feels I prefer the baby over him.

As we both woke in the morning, his little smile at seeing me, I just thought how awesome it is spending time with him and I hope I don’t screw up our relationship ever.

6 Responses to “Keeping busy”

  1. Julia 8 November 2010 at 9:06 pm #

    Dear Geek
    Firstly, I must say that I think that you are awesome.
    Secondly, it is quite natural to fear that your relationship with Caleb will be compromised somehow. Many women fear that they won’t love their 2nd child the way they have loved their firstborns. And for all intents and purposes I refer to him as your child even though I know that biologically he is not.
    When your baby arrives there will be a bit of an adjustment period for all involved. For you and Pinky and for both kids. But eventually things will settle down and your family will just grow sweeter. And you will be absolutely amazed at how much love you have to share. I really believe that you will make such a great Daddy.
    All the best.

  2. Wenchy 8 November 2010 at 9:10 pm #

    My x husband and I met when my sons were 4 and 1…. and we had a daughter… and I can tell you there is hope… my x husband has NEVER EVER shown preference over one and the other… we are divorced and he still fetches all three HIS kids every other weekend.

    You can do this :)

  3. FunkyFaery 8 November 2010 at 10:16 pm #

    Pinky and Geek…
    I was once told something that made a lot of sense. I was told that any guy can create a child, but it takes a MAN to be a father…
    Pinky, I don’t know what relationship/role your ex has, and hopefully he is still in the kids lives. But, I do believe that those kids see you Geek as their Dad…
    You guys are doing a great job! Koos has great parents and an awesome family waiting for him!!!
    Xoxo

  4. Rene 9 November 2010 at 9:55 am #

    What a wonderful post!!!

  5. Siouxsie 16 February 2011 at 12:03 am #

    wow! awesome post. i think i finally understand how my husband feels. i have 2 older children for my first marriage and he does so much for them but i never really was aware of how much responsibility or stress that may cause him. all the time i was worried that i am burdening him when the kids are mischievous (read impossible)

    thanx for the fresh view and all the best! sounds like things are going to be normal… ;)

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