Pinky and the Geek

Well as long as one of us does not change our minds, which is always a possibility, but seeing as this is the ONLY boys name we have even vaguely agreed on, I think it might just stay. The Geek said he suggested it before and I said no but I can’t remember. Maybe I am more desperate now. I heard the name on the radio and phoned The Geek and was sure he would say no, but he didn’t. He said oh he likes it, I was floored, so just like that we seem to have a name. Many of you have been in our our name discussions before and they were not always pretty, but seems like we did the impossible, the 2 most stubborn people in the world actually agree.

We pronounce it the same, we both like it, it has a lovely meaning – Honorable.

We are not going to share it yet, it was so hard to find that we don’t want to hear any negative thoughts on what we decided, at least after the birth and he is named then people tend not to tell you they think the name sucks.

And we have to keep some surprises, seeing as we know he is a boy, but he gets to keep is all guessing as for his actually birthday and then we will share his name. I feel so much better knowing we have at least 1 option. #Koos will not be nameless. Yay!

I know without a shadow of a doubt that I do not want any more people at the birth. Circumstances being what they are we already have the midwife, the kids and someone to look after the kids during labour, probably Yme’s mom. Then Sharon will be there for photos and of course me and Yme. Yes sounds like a merry circus. But I am actually hoping that it is at night and that the kids will sleep. If they want they can come in at the end or just afterwards.

Sharon is going to take some pics for me, mostly what we want is a memory of the birth as an intimate time between the Geek and I. The moments of him getting to see #Koos for the first time. I am guessing no one including me really wants a whole lot of snap shots of the business end of things LOL. That said even the few I have from Rachel’s birth do not actually show that much as the water distorts and it is not very graphic. It is rather funny to see a half out baby – sorry TMI moving on swiftly!

In preparing for this birth and the hynposis I have been watching a lot of hypnobirth videos so that the images I have in my mind from watching lots of birth can start to be replaced with some calm and peaceful non screaming in agony ones. The trouble is that I can never find enough. Hence my thought about videoing the birth. I would love to be able to add to the You Tube library of birth that other moms can watch and get encouragement from that comfortable birth is possible. I have also been asked by Parent24 if I would consider a video as they have so few natural birth videos. I would love to show that natural birth is not only possible but that it can be calm and peaceful. If I don’t for some reason get it right, and am making “lots of noises” as Rachel tells Caleb about his birth, then the video will be deleted LOL

I was thinking about a video set up on a tripod, so no extra people being present as it would then just be ridiculous and not intimate , I would wear a bikini or strappy top ( the way I did with Caleb’s birth) and the focus would again not be on the business end but rather coping with labour, breathing the baby down and then our bonding moments just after birth. The water does obscure things and I have seen videos where you really don’t see the gory details.

So what do you think, video or not?

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I have moved away from he bump and pregnancy photos today as it did not seem appropriate in the light of all that is going on here. The Geek’s sister is very unwell in hospital, she had to have emergency surgery last night. I was at home with the kids while the Geek was with his mom at the hospital.

I went into my daughters room and just sat holding there holding her hand. As a mom they always say that when you have a kid it is like having your heart walking around outside your body. Seeing them hurt is horrible, you would do anything to take their pain away. I have sat at the bedside of a sick child when I watched Pinklet boy struggle for every breath at 5 months on a breathing machine. It is the most helpless, scary feeling in the world, you so wish you could fight for them or take it all on yourself.

Ouma Annatjie The Geek’s mom sat with her daughter last night and I know this must be hurting her so much. She is so good to the Pinklets and me, she has welcomed us into the family and the kids adore her. Being a mom is such a hard job and it does not get less painful because they get older.

I have been doing the 30 days of Truth meme over on my own blog. There have been a lot of days questions where I could have written about The Geek but did not. The one was about someone who makes your life worth living and many said their partner, I said I had to find worth in myself and that others could only adding meaning and pleasure. There was one about someone you could not live without and again I said having lost the true me in my marriage before the person I could not live without was the Pink Hair Girl inside. Then today the topic was on writing a play list to someone, I chose my daughter, again many did their partners.

I made me feel a little bad, but for those questions and that Meme those answers seemed like the best ones. It does not mean that The Geek is not the man I want to spend forever with or that I value him any less. Anyone who follows this blog knows that The Geek does not find blurting all he feels out all over a blog as easy as I do. But when he does sit down and share his thoughts and words they are always touching and show how deeply he does thinks and feels about things.

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